Which clown should I kiss? I thought of kissing Donald Trump, but the idea repelled me. So I kissed Seth Meyers instead, and said thank you for joking about Trump and knocking him mercilessly. I owe him a million kisses for that. But I told him one was all I could manage, because today it's too hot and our lips might get stuck. I understand, Seth said, as he rattled off more jokes.

So what did Trump do after he said U.S. soldiers who died were losers? He LOST his twitter account after he blamed those reporting what he said. So who's the loser now? OK, so I, the writer, am no Seth Meyers. What did you expect? I don't even get paid for making fun of our clown fake president. So what happened to Trump after he told people to vote twice in the election? He fired his Treasury Secretary because he counted his 2 votes that he talked about. "Everyone knows I didn't say that," Trump said, and "how can you be the treasurer without knowing how to count?" Trump asked.

So I kissed Seth again, and he was so happy about that that he thought of lots more Trump jokes, and made millions of dollars, and hired Trump's Treasury Secretary to count it all, and he counted correctly!

Seth Meyers takes a closer look: Trump Lashes Out Over Report that He Insulted Fallen Soldiers

Seth Meyers takes a closer look at Trump's attack on the post office

Where did Donald get his nonsense about losers from? From here: Patton's speech

Why don't we make the presidential election a real clown show and have Seth run against Donald? According to my horoscope scoring system, Seth would win, because he has a score of 20-3 as opposed to Donnie's 9-4!