for UU Band of Writers, July 7, 2019
prompt/theme: what is the last thing you put aboard a submarine before you lower the hatch?
We all live in a yellow submarine. So we didn't want to forget the mustard. What is a submarine trip without hot dogs? But, the captain said, you don't need to put mustard on hot dogs! Yes, you do, I said, because then they are red, and not yellow! And this is a yellow submarine, not a red one. The Beatles said so!
What do The Beatles know about submarines? said the Captain. They knew it was yellow, I said, and ours is yellow. You deny the evidence of your own eyes? But, Corporate Klinker, the Captain said, as he lowered his eyes and leered angrily and steadily at me. The submarine will still be yellow if you don't bring the mustard. I'm the Captain, and I want mayonaise! But that's white, I said. I don't care, said the Captain. I decide what everyone eats on my ship! But that's not the spirit Ringo sang about, I said. And why don't we have a band on board? OK, said the Captain. I'll go get the band. And I'll make sure they all wear yellow hats instead of red hats. We certainly don't want any red hats these days, like our hot-dog president wants us to wear for his military parade with all his brass bands blaring the national anthem. Our submarine is about people having fun together. OK Klinker? Happy now? Is that enough yella' fer ya?
Comments from our own Band: "I thought of mean Mr. Mustard" -- Jay Porter
"I listened with relish" -- Amy Baldwin, captain of our Band
There Go I, by J.P. Michaels (Jay Porter)