Where Are My Pants?
Did they walk away on their own? Do they require a human being inside them to move?
Not in my fantasy world.
My pants must have walked away on their own. They were tired of me. They wanted another occupant. Someone younger. That happens often with partners. Pants never age. They get sexier when they have holes in them. That's it! My pants wanted a sexier occupant. Maybe even someone of the opposite sex. Maybe someone who could sew up the holes.
Jeans truly are holy. Wait, I didn't tell you they were jeans. I just assumed you knew. Jeans are especially talented at walking. But not sewing. Maybe my pants went to a taylor shop for repair. I shouldn't be jealous of my jeans. Maybe they will come back. Wait! I think I see them coming. It's like Pretty Woman. She's walking back to me. Why do I so often want to insert a 60s song in my Band of Writers essays? I guess maybe I am getting older. Wait, my pants said. No you're not. Shut up and put me on! Now, walk! And look alive in me! I will take you places and you will meet other people. They will be wearing pants too! Maybe they will even like your 60s songs. Maybe you can dance, and make romance.
I'm so glad I found my pants. Or, that they walked back to me.
Earlier, on Jan.6, 2019, I wrote this piece for Band of Writers:
prompt: Article of Clothing
My jeans are mean, but they aren't green. I've been seen in my garden, which is green, and quite a scene. I wear my jean, which is lean. Yes, sometimes it's only one jean. That's a new style that's never been. But why do we feel compelled to clothe both legs? Wouldn't it be a clean mean scene to see a teen group that wears their jean covering just one leg? If we can be so mean to cut off our jeans into shorts, why has a one-legged jean never made the scene? It would bust somebody's spleen to see someone preen in such a jean, at least that's what the teens have decided about jeans. To me, it just seems so short-sighted and mean.....